A few nights ago, I went for a walk. That’s what I do a lot lately. It gives me the chance to think about certain things but also just to be outside and enjoy nature. I think it’s so peaceful.
I like to think about my hightlights of the day. I honestly feel better afterwards. It gives everything more sense. You should do it too.
Since I’ve started exercising, I have been feeling amazing. This in combination with my healthier lifestyle, makes me feel so relax. I haven’t felt stress in a long time. I can’t describe the feeling I get sometimes. I feel so blessed that I can go through such feelings.
As I’ve mentioned a few times already on my blog, I have had a time (2 years ago) in which I felt terrible. My first ever love broke up with me and it felt like I had nothing anymore. He was my rock, you know.
I’m sure everyone has once felt that way. Losing someone that means the world to you can be pretty hard. But as time goes by, that pain goes away. Slowly but it’s possible.
Anyway, that was the first time in my life that I went through something this painful.It definitely was pain on a higher level. When we broke up, I never knew that it would also be the start of something new. That’s what I realised. Sometimes, you need to experience pain in order to learn.
Before I started this relationship, I was 15-years-old. I was very young, naive and most of all, careless. I didn’t care about things in a way that I do now. During the relationship, I became more aware of how life can be complicated sometimes. I constantly was stressed out but I didn’t really know why. I was very strict about things and wanted to be perfect. Then, there was that terrible chapter in my life in which I went through a depression. It was awful and weird too. In January 2013, I made little changes in how I lived, physically and mentally. Now, I feel like I’m in a much better state.
I feel like I’ve grown up because of that break up. I used to be so impulsive and naive. Now on the other hand, I’m still naive but I think a lot more before I do something. I’m much wiser. You don’t have to be perfect to be happy. I do stupid things sometimes too. Everyone does.
Something that makes me feel so much better is the thought that you don’t have to be like everyone else. People of my age like to go out, drink, smoke, meet their friends all the time, go to sleepovers,… But that’s just not me. I’m not that girl. I like to do other things and I’m fine with that. I like to think a lot, be on my own, go to the gym, spend time with my boyfriend, clean up, listen to songs because of the lyrics and not because of the singer. Most of all, I like to dream.
When I met Francis, I didn’t feel the same as I did for my first boyfriend. I think that’s normal. I wasn’t the same person either. I was torn. However, our relationship grew and so did my love for him. Every day I loved him a little bit more. You can’t compare relationships because every person and every relationship is different of course.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell about my experience with break ups, first loves, growing up,… I will always feel bad about my first break up because it was so painful. I will never be able to erase that. However I can live with it. I became a better person and I’m thankful for that. Besides, when two people break up, there will always be a reason for that.
Francis is my second real boyfriend but I don’t like to call him ‘the second one’. He’s just Francis and he’s amazing, in all ways. Of course, he isn’t perfect but I don’t want to have a perfect boyfriend. The most important thing is that your boyfriend takes care of you and loves you for who you are.
Have you ever experienced a painful break up?